BCS_Norris

== Adaption records should they be kept private or public. Most adaptions records if the child wants to know about his or her adopted mother the parents can keep it private or let the people tell him the true story about his parents or anything he wants to know about his parents or why he was put up for adoption. The kids can have an option to get to know their parents or not to know who their real parents are. People have the option to put children or animals up for adoption like a dog cat or anything like that. Adoption can be good or bad it can be good if the parents can not take care of their own child or children they usually have to put them up for adoption. Like if the parents are bad parents or do drugs or anything they would have to consider putting their children up for adoption. When a good parent and a bad parent fight the kid has to go up for adoption and the good parent would want to keep the child but the people that are in charge of everything for adoption but the lady says no to the good person who wants to get the child and take them home so that parent can take care of the child for the rest of the child's life. Maybe the child wants good parents to take care of them and be a good parent to them for the rest of their lifes. ==

August 16 2013
== Our use of paper and plastic are pilling up in the landfill should be our own choice. The government needs to realise that we can recycle and reuse plastic and paper for the grocery store like shopping bags and other stuff we use plastic bags for. The government says that we should stop recycling because the plastic is bad evidence for our environment. We should reuse most of the stuff that we recycle should go to good costs. Like helping people that need plastic or paper products for their own needs like notebook paper for math, literature, science, social studies,and other classes that require paper in class for school work or homework. The government needs to enforce better ideas and laws for paper and plastic that is recycled and thrown away each and every day. Alot of stuff we throw away and don't use could be used for school jobs and paperwork that people have to do and keep up with their own paperwork every day of the week. The government needs to rethink and realise all the paper and plastic that are thrown away are costing us money each and every year. == == The government needs to learn not to mess up everything like what we should do with paper or plastic and than we get blammed for it. Throwing paper that has not been used is a bad thing for our environment and should learn not to throw unused paper away. The government should realise the more paper we throw out the more money but if he would say no and keep unused paper he would learn he could save money but he chooses to make up our minds and he should not have to make up our mind about paper or plastic. Throwing away alot of paper and plastic is not a good thing for our environment. Once he learns that throwing paper and plastic away is a bad thing he would understand. The government would not want to spend more money on things that we need and that we have not used and should be recycled. == You have some great ideas ("paper and plastic are piling up in landfills" and "we need to recycle and reuse"). You seem to say two different points of view, however, and this is confusing to your reader. 12 points = 70

Value ||  Points Earned  ||
 * **SEBHS Essay Rubric (aligned with GHSWT Rubric)** ||
 * || ** 5 **  ||  ** 4 **  ||  ** 3 **  ||  ** 2 **  ||  ** 1 **  ||  Weighted
 * ** IDEAS **
 * ** Controlling idea **
 * ** Supporting ideas **
 * ** Use of details **
 * ** Awareness of purpose **
 * ** Sense of completeness ** ||  ||   || The essay is sufficiently focused and contains some ideas and examples. The response is generally appropriate to the persuasive purpose. || The essay is minimally focused. The provided examples are vague or general and the response demonstrates minimal awareness. ||   ||  X2  || 5 ||
 * ** ORGANIZATION **
 * ** Introduction/body/conclusion **
 * ** Sequence of ideas **
 * ** Grouping of ideas **
 * ** Effective transitions **
 * ** Awareness of purpose ** ||  || The organization is appropriate and the sequencing of ideas is logical. Varied transitions are used. || The organization is generally appropriate and the ideas are clearly sequenced, but may be repetitive. Transitions are used || The organization is formulaic or inappropriate. The response may lack a clear introduction or conclusion. Transitions are rare. ||   ||  X1  || 2 ||
 * ** STYLE **
 * ** Sentence variety **
 * ** Word choice **
 * ** Audience awareness **
 * ** Personal voice ** ||  || The language and tone of the essay enhance the persuasive purpose. Word choice is appropriate. Sentences are varied. || The language and tone are appropriate. Word choice is adequate, but may be simple or ordinary. Some sentence variety is evident. || The language and tone are uneven. Word choice is simple, ordinary, or repetitive. There is minimal variation in sentence length and structure. ||   ||  X1  || 2 ||
 * ** CONVENTIONS **
 * ** Sentence formation **
 * ** Subject-verb agreement **
 * ** Standard word forms **
 * ** Punctuation, spelling, and capitalization ** ||  || The writer demonstrates knowledge of the conventions of written English. Errors are minor and do not interfere with meaning. || The writer demonstrates sufficient control of the conventions of written English. Errors may interfere with meaning, but are not distracting. || The writer demonstrates minimal control of the conventions of written English. Errors are frequent and interfere with meaning. ||   ||  X1  || 3 ||

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= August 9 2013 = = Should school be a place for debates. I think some debates should no be involved at school and other debates should argue about it somewhere else like having cellphones out in class we should be able to listen to our music on our phones because that is a good way to keep us calm and learn how to listen to music and concentrate on our school work. Like when we go to change classes or sit in classes we should be able to use our phones as long as we are not distracted with our phones and should be able to use them for calculators music some games and other stuff like that. We should have hat days every Friday because everybody loves to wear their favorite hats on hat day and we should be able to wear them in shop classes like automotive ag mechanic and classes like that we should be able to wear them but if we come in a class room we should take our hats off unless it is hat day and you paid a dollar to wear your favorite hat on hate day. We should be able to have food and drinks in the class room as long as we don't spill it or anything and not make a complete mess because than our teachers will have alot of ants in the classroom and our teachers do not like to have ants because than more and more ants are going to come in the classroom and make a bigger mess and than the teachers or custodians will have to come in the classroom and clean it up and than we may never ever be able to eat in the classroom again like this year Mrs.Clifton said we can not have food or any others types of bottles unless your bottle has a screw on top and its water or anything like that. People who have charges on the account should be able to get a parking permit but the students have to have everything for the parking permit and make sure they are able to pay the debts they owe to the school and make sure they are paid off so they wont have any school debts. Alot of kids would love to either drive to school or ride with a friend instead of riding the bus to school because alot of people hate their bus drivers and some kids like the bus drivers they have right now. The only way you can drive to school is if you have a drivers licenses a proof of insurance and the form filled out with $20 and than you have to get your parking permit and hang it up in your mirror. We should have a debate on how long we have to get our parking passes and how long we can park in front of the gym or in the student parking lot. Alot of kids wanna have debates about getting their vehicles towed away and having to go get them outta the impound lot. There is alot of things people should have debates on parking permits cell phones in classes and we should be able to use our phones as long as we are on stuff that is appropriate and stay off stuff that is non inappopriate. Debates maybe a good thing because we may get some of our privliges back from last year and not have alot of privliges from the other years before that. We should have a debate on a class party where people bring in food for project classes and other stuff like that and they should also be able to bring in drinks so people can have something to eat and something to drink and should be able to have something to was the food down with water soda or anything the other students have to bring so they can share it with the class and students and teachers if the students want the teachers to have some of their food. =

Value ||  Points Earned  || Norris,
 * **SEBHS Essay Rubric (aligned with GHSWT Rubric)** ||
 * || ** 5 **  ||  ** 4 **  ||  ** 3 **  ||  ** 2 **  ||  ** 1 **  ||  Weighted
 * ** IDEAS **
 * ** Controlling idea **
 * ** Supporting ideas **
 * ** Use of details **
 * ** Awareness of purpose **
 * ** Sense of completeness ** ||  ||   ||   || The essay is minimally focused. The provided examples are vague or general and the response demonstrates minimal awareness. || The essay shows little or no focus and the ideas are unclear, irrelevant, or repetitive. The response is incomplete or too brief. ||  X2  || 3 ||
 * ** ORGANIZATION **
 * ** Introduction/body/conclusion **
 * ** Sequence of ideas **
 * ** Grouping of ideas **
 * ** Effective transitions **
 * ** Awareness of purpose ** ||  ||   ||   || The organization is formulaic or inappropriate. The response may lack a clear introduction or conclusion. Transitions are rare. ||   ||  X1  || 2 ||
 * ** STYLE **
 * ** Sentence variety **
 * ** Word choice **
 * ** Audience awareness **
 * ** Personal voice ** ||  ||   || The language and tone are appropriate. Word choice is adequate, but may be simple or ordinary. Some sentence variety is evident. ||   ||   ||  X1  || 3 ||
 * ** CONVENTIONS **
 * ** Sentence formation **
 * ** Subject-verb agreement **
 * ** Standard word forms **
 * ** Punctuation, spelling, and capitalization ** ||  || The writer demonstrates knowledge of the conventions of written English. Errors are minor and do not interfere with meaning. ||   ||   ||   ||  X1  || 4 ||

Your essay is lengthy, but much of it doesn't support the use of debate or not using debate for educational purposes, only to discuss arguing against the rules, which is not the point of this essay. While your content is off-topic somewhat, it is also not organized well to fit into neat paragraphs, each with their own main point, support and examples. 12 points = 70

= = = = = August 7 2013 = = The first hole was dug and the first man came into the world. Than it down poured and alot more men and women came into the world. The first and second person came into the world and had alot of fights and conflicts. There was light and darkness and rain and alot of places had rivers and streams and in the woods trees started to grow. All people believe that the fourth world was believed to be heaven and was made by god himself. You can travel through the hallow reed and maybe find interesting stuff when you are traveling through the hallow reed. Begochiddy made the fourth mountains based on racism like red for like tan people and white for white people black for black people and brown for brown people. Coyote was being made to to open the blanket he was protecting and he didnt want to let go of the blanket and he ordered the coyote to open the blanket right away and once he opened the blanket they fount the water baby from the stream in the woods. God also made men and women and once the first man died he was sent to heaven and became god. When they sing a song it would rain or storm really bad and the rain and storm would make more and more people and than even made more men and women. = This still reads like a summary of the Creation myth we read in class, except you don't show how the story got to the fourth world. Your creation myth should really reflect your own "story" that has a beginning, middle and an end and fits together. This does show some geography, some sensory details and culture, but not dialogue. First attempt grade = 70. You may revise this to show a more cohesive story for an improved grade. Resubmit no later than 8/17/13. ~ Ms. Oren

= = = August 5 2013 = = School should have debates on listening to music while listening to classes. = = School should have debates on using cell phones in classes while doing work. = = Some debates should be in school and other debates should not be in school. =

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