BCS_Jocelyn

8/23

I think that people should have the choice to have open or closed adoption.Some people wont to see there baby after and have them kowe who they are.some people wont to keep there kids but dont have to mony to take care of them so whin they give them up fore asoption they should be abole to see the baby as they grow up.

8/16

I think that we should have the right to choose if we wont paper or plastic.I think we can have paper or plastic because so people say that plastic is bad for the enviroment but both are not that good for the envitoment.We dont need the gov to tell us what to do all the time we need to make or own choose sometime.

Eleventh grade expectations include writing multiple paragraphs comprised of 6-8 sentences each. This is much too simple for the expectations of this course in 45 minutes. ~ Ms. Oren 5 points = 20

Value ||  Points Earned  ||
 * **SEBHS Essay Rubric (aligned with GHSWT Rubric)** ||
 * || ** 5 **  ||  ** 4 **  ||  ** 3 **  ||  ** 2 **  ||  ** 1 **  ||  Weighted
 * ** IDEAS **
 * ** Controlling idea **
 * ** Supporting ideas **
 * ** Use of details **
 * ** Awareness of purpose **
 * ** Sense of completeness ** ||  ||   ||   || The essay is minimally focused. The provided examples are vague or general and the response demonstrates minimal awareness. || The essay shows little or no focus and the ideas are unclear, irrelevant, or repetitive. The response is incomplete or too brief. ||  X2  || 2 ||
 * ** ORGANIZATION **
 * ** Introduction/body/conclusion **
 * ** Sequence of ideas **
 * ** Grouping of ideas **
 * ** Effective transitions **
 * ** Awareness of purpose ** ||  ||   ||   || The organization is formulaic or inappropriate. The response may lack a clear introduction or conclusion. Transitions are rare. || The essay shows little evidence of organization or sequencing. Transitions are not used. The response is incomplete or too brief. ||  X1  || 1 ||
 * ** STYLE **
 * ** Sentence variety **
 * ** Word choice **
 * ** Audience awareness **
 * ** Personal voice ** ||  ||   ||   || The language and tone are uneven. Word choice is simple, ordinary, or repetitive. There is minimal variation in sentence length and structure. || The language and tone are inappropriate. Word choice is incorrect or confusing. The response is incomplete or too brief. ||  X1  || 1 ||
 * ** CONVENTIONS **
 * ** Sentence formation **
 * ** Subject-verb agreement **
 * ** Standard word forms **
 * ** Punctuation, spelling, and capitalization ** ||  ||   ||   || The writer demonstrates minimal control of the conventions of written English. Errors are frequent and interfere with meaning. || The writer lacks understanding of the conventions of written English. Errors are pervasive. The response is incomplete or too brief. ||  X1  || 1 ||

8/9

Whin ** the kids use ** textbook ** they can find the what they ** looking ** for fast.You can do your home work in a textbook.Textbooks help you study for ** as ** test.Textbooks give you ** info ** on your work ** your d ** oing. **
 * i think that we should have both debate and textbooks.Debate is good for ** kide ** who who ** wants ** a ** carer ** in law.Debate also ** help ** kids find out about what they are t ** alkeing ** about.Debate gets the kids talking about the stuff ** there lerning

Value ||  Points Earned  || This is a good beginning toward creating an essay. You have some good ideas in support for debate, but could expand on them with more detail. Try to avoid "stuff" as this is not very specific. You also have some support for the use of textbooks to learn factual information. Please write out words, instead of using abbreviations. 12 points = 70
 * **SEBHS Essay Rubric (aligned with GHSWT Rubric)** ||
 * || ** 5 **  ||  ** 4 **  ||  ** 3 **  ||  ** 2 **  ||  ** 1 **  ||  Weighted
 * ** IDEAS **
 * ** Controlling idea **
 * ** Supporting ideas **
 * ** Use of details **
 * ** Awareness of purpose **
 * ** Sense of completeness ** ||  || . || The essay is sufficiently focused and contains some ideas and examples. The response is generally appropriate to the persuasive purpose. ||   ||   ||  X2  || 6 ||
 * ** ORGANIZATION **
 * ** Introduction/body/conclusion **
 * ** Sequence of ideas **
 * ** Grouping of ideas **
 * ** Effective transitions **
 * ** Awareness of purpose ** ||  ||   ||   || The organization is formulaic or inappropriate. The response may lack a clear introduction or conclusion. Transitions are rare. ||   ||  X1  || 2 ||
 * ** STYLE **
 * ** Sentence variety **
 * ** Word choice **
 * ** Audience awareness **
 * ** Personal voice ** ||  ||   ||   || The language and tone are uneven. Word choice is simple, ordinary, or repetitive. There is minimal variation in sentence length and structure. ||   ||  X1  || 2 ||
 * ** CONVENTIONS **
 * ** Sentence formation **
 * ** Subject-verb agreement **
 * ** Standard word forms **
 * ** Punctuation, spelling, and capitalization ** ||  ||   ||   || The writer demonstrates minimal control of the conventions of written English. Errors are frequent and interfere with meaning. ||   ||  X1  || 2 ||


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